the ageless generation no.2
Everyone gets stuck at some point.
Photo credit. sk Unsplash
So, when is mid-life, and if there are no preconceived ideas and expectations, does it matter anymore? If you live until you are 90, is the middle of your life 45? But then how many 45-year-olds would expect to be called middle aged? In my experience working with great clients of all ages, I have come to the conclusion that the old saying is true, “you really are as young as you feel”. And if you feel good, about yourself and your life, then looking good is a natural extension of your whole persona. The same is true the other way round, if you look good, you feel better.
We must all be kind to ourselves in this new world. Women of a certain age are now role models for future generations, and are learning on the hoof. It isn’t like there are a plethora of role models from the past, because societal thinking rather ignored women from their 40’s onwards, especially when it came to how they dressed and presented themselves. The common expectation of Women’s Suffrage is a really modern concept that although we take for granted, is still a distant hope for many cultures even now.
Losing your image mojo is something that does, and can, happen at any time in your life. I am aware from talking with many of my clients, that they can often get to an age where they just don’t know what they want to look like. They are undecided what styles they prefer or if they are age-appropriate (a horrible term), and whether it is even worth bothering what they look and feel like, except on special occasions.
There is no definitive answer to rediscovering your pzazz, because only you know how you feel about yourself at any time. If you think that you might like a bit of a boost and get out of your current rut, the quickest, easiest, and most fun way is to experiment with your image. You don’t need a new wardrobe full of clothes, you can achieve a vast amount by just tweaking what you are wearing and perhaps updating your hair, skincare, and makeup (if you wear it) and see how it makes you feel. You can then build on what works for you, and relegate what doesn’t.
When you begin to feel differently about yourself, you will notice that others will interact differently with you. We all adopt a persona that works for us at some point in our lives, and as time goes on, we often become someone we really don’t recognise. Many women feel that in some way they can become invisible. Perhaps this is a reflection of how lost you can become in this new world? If you let life happen without taking the time to think about what you want to do, what you want to look like and how you want to live, it can suddenly be next year and you wonder what happened to the last 12 months.
Perhaps you used to be adventurous with your clothing choices, but now just wear jeans or leggings? Did you wear make-up but now don’t bother? Have you kept the same hairstyle for years? None of these things are negative undesirable if they are your choice. However, sometimes you drift into a situation only to catch yourself and think how did I get here, and what can I do to rediscover the real me? There is no need to have a eureka moment, just turning your attention towards what you want from life will open your mind to all sorts of unexpected possibilities.
Photo credit. Alisa Anton Unsplash
here are some points to get you thinking:
If you have lost some of your self-confidence, think about how you feel if you make an effort, say for a wedding. The mix of self-care when you are considering your image for the event, and the anticipation of a positive experience, can transform your day-to-day stuck-ness, if only for a short time. Why not see if you can replicate this positive sense of self on a more frequent basis. What works best to evoke those empowering thoughts for you? Is it your grooming, or your image, or the fact you are looking forward to something, or that you are with family and friends?
Can you identify what it is that works for you? Do you come to life amongst friends? Perhaps you can arrange to meet up more frequently? For many people the chance to dress up is something to be savoured and they really enjoy the experience. If this resonates, can you try out some new ideas from your wardrobe, or grooming, and trial simple variations to see if any make a difference to how you feel today.
Do you have any role models that you can study for inspiration? When role models are suggested, people immediately think of unattainable and glamorous images. Perhaps Audrey Hepburn, Madonna or Catherine, Princess of Wales. However, stating the glaringly obvious, most women don’t look like them and will never look like them, and don’t have their lifestyles. For a realistic role model, I mean someone with the same basic characteristics as you, in age, colouring and shape. This person can be someone you have seen in a magazine, in a film, your colleague, your friend, or someone on TV, the context isn’t important. Finding an icon who you think looks good, where you can use some of the ideas that they employ to great effect, can help you to move out of your rut. Doing so can mean that you start on a mission to be a role model for someone else.
Prioritise yourself. What do you want to feel like, what do you want to look like, and what new ideas would you like to try? By mid-life you may well have had decades of caring for others, while building a home and a career. Sometimes this results in your self-care taking second place in your world. Perhaps now is your time to think a bit about what you want. After putting other people and things before your wants and needs, this might be a difficult concept to accept, but stick with it. When you feel better about yourself, others will undoubtedly react in a positive way, so consider that this isn’t a selfish act, you aren’t just making changes for you.
Embrace what you already have, both in your clothes and accessories. Think about wearing better things for every day. Children’s clothes that are kept for best will become irrelevant if they are grown out of in the meantime, I’m sure you can relate to that. So, if you are keeping clothes for best, when is best and why is that time more important than how you are feeling today? I’m obviously not suggesting wearing satin and diamonds for a trip to the supermarket, but I am positive you will have some nice everyday clothes that you just don’t wear. Try out some creative ideas, you can always go back to the same old stuff of yesterday.
Use your experience and start to consider any new directions you might like your life to go in. Do you want to retrain as a garden designer, or have more time to help with the grandchildren, have a weekly catch up with friends, or hike up Machu Pichu? You will know what feels right, and what inspires you, you know what you have already done, what you have learnt and perhaps what you have always fancied doing. If you are stuck, then finding a few simple hacks to feel better about yourself, however superficial you might think a new haircut is, can really propel you towards a new outlook on your life in the present, and into the future.
If you are 50 now, you may well have as much life ahead of you as you have already experienced since you were 10. Since you were at primary school. Since you wore white socks and plimsoles. Since you had pigtails…you get the picture. We all have the potential to treat this potentially vast period of time ahead of us as static and where we can only be reactive to the passing of time. Wouldn’t you rather these next years were open ended, fluid, and creative? Where being proactive about your choices, your image and your personal take on life is more aligned to the person you have always wanted to be?
Finally. If not now, when?
Continues in No.3…
All rights reserved. Milly Churchill asserts the right to be identified as the author of this work.